gunstream girl

Name:
Location: Cleveland, Ohio, United States

I'm a Southerner, born and bred (though you'd never know it from my accent, I'm told). I like to eat 'til I'm tired out from eating, hear good storytelling 'til I can recite the stories in my sleep (Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can't remember who we are or why we're here.), watch people, look at sparkly things, listen to good bluegrass music, dream about owning a dog, tell crazy stories about my family, and organize things.

29 July 2005

Mary's New Cruiser.


Mrs. Henderson is the cutest, sassiest little woman I know (next to Dolly Parton).

She's been having a hard time dealing with her husband's death.

Her coping strategy?

A bright yellow bicycle. With flower prints.

She just thought she needed it in case she wanted to take a spin around the neighborhood.

I absolutely cannot stand it.


"The cuteness is evident in the picture, but the sassiness?" you ask.

Exhibit A: During last fall's presidential election, George Bush called the house to ask for her vote. Everyone in the phone book got the same canned calls, I think. She hung up on him.

Exhibit B: Jan went over to check on her recently, and she had heard about a new saloon in town at her knitting group. She insisted that they go there for dinner to check it out. So they did.

Hee.

28 July 2005

My Subpoena

Got a letter in the mail yesterday.

A subpoena.

Like, for court.


For my negligence in paying local income taxes.

My dad uses the phrase "soil myself" when he's being hyperbolic.

I suppose the same was true in this situation.

But I don't know how exaggerated the urge to "soil myself" is in this particular case.

Did I make a mistake on Turbo Tax?

Did I not report something I should have?

Will I go to jail?

.............................................................................................

One lost night of sleep + one workday(one sour stomach) + 3 missed phone calls to the income tax official's office at City Hall = A glitch in the system whereby....

Someone entered my date of occupancy in Cleveland Heights starting sometime in 2003.

This, the director tells me in a kind of condescending way.

Which i don't understand because....it was the data head's fault.

Not mine or Turbo's.

Somehow I felt very dumb and stupid.

And then incensed that he/"they" made me feel so dumb and stupid.

And then just weak b/c all of the adrenaline in my body went away and left me with nothing but a voided subpoena..

This experience perpetuates my fear of numbers.

And taxes.

And anything addressed to me from the City of Cleveland Heights.

27 July 2005

Me: 31-40

31. John Bailey and I (and others) used to climb on top of billboards along I-30 and dance for the truckers that drove by. It seemed silly and fun at the time. Now it just seems dumb and scary (what with my fear of heights and all).

32. I want to learn how to play the banjo.

33. Like my father, I, too, love quotes. I write them down whenever I see them or hear them...on scraps of paper, on the back of my hand, whatever is handy.

34. Jennie and I used to listen to records growing up. My favorite was the read-along version of the Hobbit.

35. Jennie, Robert, and I used to load up in either our van or the Sproles's van and go to the public library for books. The library had the most wonderful bright red foam chairs there that you could curl up in and disappear for hours. I love the library.

36. I'm not very good at sports. Really. My only successful basketball goal was for the wrong team. Terrible.

37. No one can ever figure out my nationality. I get British most commonly, followed by Eastern European, and sometimes with a dash of Asian blood. Nobody ever guesses Scotch- Irish-American.

38. I have a very dry sense of humour.

39. I love all things Muppets. Sesame Street included. I think Jim Henson and his team has done some of the most important work for kids in several decades.

40. Ashley Pillow told me once some advice that her father had given her: The things that annoy you in other people are just amplified versions of the traits in yourself that you aren't satisfied with. It's interesting to think about. And I think it's true.

26 July 2005

Me: 21-30

21. I love office supplies. Particularly pens.

22. I'm afraid of snakes. Very afraid.

23. Spiders don't bother me so much.

24. Cockroaches freak me out. Especially the flying ones.

25. I used to like squirrels quite a bit until I saw one close up. It's tail looks like a rat with really fluffy fur. From that point forward, I decided that I wasn't as keen on them as I used to be. That, and the squirrels at OBU used to pelt the passers-by with acorns. Mean little buggers.

26. Beans and greens and cornbread. That's my death row meal.

27. I've been knitting a (yes, that's singular) scarf for almost 6 years now. Can't decide if I'll ever finish it or not. When I first moved to Ohio, Mrs. Henderson (Jan's mom) saw my knitting in one of my boxes, pulled it out, started shaking her head, and then pulled out about 3 inches of stitches. I almost croaked. It was full of mistakes, she said. I kind of liked the holes. I thought they had 'character.' Hmph.

28. I am a twin. Fraternal. We're nothing alike and everything alike. We get along really well, for the most part, though sometimes I think Jennie just tolerates me. She used to always threaten me and say that when I least expect it she's going to clobber me (I'm sure I prompted the comment with some sort of annoying behavior). . . I'm still waiting.

29. I like order. Especially on my bed. I'm very particular about my bed. Jennie and I shared a bed for a good portion of our lives. When we would fight, she would simply get out of bed in the middle of the night and pull out the corner of the sheets. Pissed me off.

30. Dogs. I love them. Every time I see one, I crack up. I want a great dane, a Visla, a lab, a beagle, a basset hound, and a greyhound for starters. Which will require me to have a large backyard.

23 July 2005

Me: 11-20

11. I love cotton candy. It is my all-time favorite.

12. If I had to choose, I'd say brown is my favorite color. Or possibly green.

13. I really don't care much for air conditioning. I hate being cold in the middle of summer. It's not very natural. I don't know that I'd do away with it completely, but I'd scale overall usage back quite a bit.

14. I'm obsessive about turning off the lights. I think this is a carryover from my dad. Never one to waste electricity (or money, for that matter), he always insists on turning off the light when we're not in a room. But never be caught reading in the dark! He'll turn a lamp/overhead light on so fast you don't know what hit you!

15. I can be unbearably impatient and rude if I'm in "work mode." I don't like being interrupted or told an alternate way of doing something (I'm stubborn.).

16. We used to go fishing and camping with my Nanny and Papaw every summer. For an entire glorious week, all of the grandkids would pile into their camper or tents in state parks all over Arkansas. I specifically remember turkey calling, roasted marshmallows, whittling Shield soap with Papaw's big knives, and watching The Gnomemobile in the back of the Jones's RV on their new VCR.

17. I'm pretty left wing as far as politics are concerned.

18. I like to sing. I've been told I'm pretty good at it. I think Jennie's the better singer of the two of us. She's consistent and not too flashy and has the most pure voice...I like to sneak up and listen to her when she's not looking. Anyway, I miss it. I don't have a piano here. My singing is restricted to showering only, these days.

19. I moved out on my own about 3 years ago. I just decided one day that I wanted to do it. I had shared everything for most of my life (even the womb with Jennie), and I really felt that I needed a place of my own. Financially, it wasn't my smartest move, but the freedom of doing whatever I absolutely wanted whenever I absolutely wanted was nice. I really feel like I grew up a lot as a result....

20. Which enabled me to pack up everything and move from Arkansas to Ohio 2 years ago. A big move. For work. I'm glad I did it, too. But it has been a hard move. I left all of my friends and family and started absolutely from scratch again. Made some friends here, then they moved away. Had to start all over again. I often asked myself, when feeling depressed, do I live to work or work to live? It's been a hard two years. Tommy's been my only consistent bright spot up here in grey Cleveland.

10 July 2005

when the dog bites...

....I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feeeeeelllll sooooo bad.

Jennie inspired this list. I put it on her blog in the comments section. Since I spent so much time typing it, I thought it was blog-worthy.

My favorite things:

1. things that are homemade. i'm not talking about country blue and mauve geese...more along the lines of freshly baked goods, handicrafts, a poem...that kind of thing. i made a vow several years ago that i would never purchase anything for my home unless a) it was homemade (vs. being mass-produced) or b) it had a really good story. point a) is relevant for this purposes of this exercise. why homemade? someone took the time and skill necessary to make something wonderful and unique. hard to come by.

2. sparkly, dangly things---especially said gaudy earrings. i absolutely adore accessories.

3. REAL mail. not bills. just a good old-fashioned letter.

3b. packages in the mail. probably more exciting than real mail, especially if it's got any of the items on my list inside.

4. like katie, gifts from people that just got you something because it reminded you of them (with the ensuing explanation)

5. like troy, consumables. i love getting things that i can enjoy until they're done and not have to worry about finding a place for them.

6. like sweet jennie, practical things (see number 5). laundry detergent, copy paper, fruit baskets, you name it.

7. gift certificates. it's so much fun to spend someone else's money!!

8. books. i love it when people give me books. great entertainment with an added glimpse into the person's interests.

9.along the same lines as number 8, music. i especially love it when someone makes me a mix (see number 1). i listen to the two mixes that jennie made for me daily. tommy, too.

10. i like being taken to dinner. REALLY nice dinners with tablecloths and crystal and good wine and 5 and 6 course meals, and live music if I'm lucky. i don't know where this one came from...it seems we never had too much of this type of frivolity growing up (you can imagine, growing up under practical pat's roof!). but somehow i've found that i just absolutely love to get dressed up and do something very, very... nice. E.B. White once said: "Every Morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day."

11. clothes. it doesn't matter if they come from the salvation army or from really nice
boutiques...they're fun to me. no one article is more exciting. they're all great. but, i should caution that i'm VERY particular about what i wear. which is sort of comical if you know me and the types of garb that i try to pull off.

12. products. carey and i like to call ourselves product whores. just give us 10 minutes in sephora....watch out!

13. hands-on classes. how to carve a pumpkin. how to change a tire. how to tango. how to knit a hat.

14. antique linens. i've picked up a few here and there. love them. i'm not totally shabby chic, but i've been dredged quite a bit with it.

09 July 2005

Me: 1-10

Jennie-on-the-spot started this type of listing some time ago. And I've enjoyed browsing other friends' lists, too. So enough, dilly dallying and on with my own.

(Here's to you, T.)

1. I absolutely cannot stand phonetically spelled things. I make it a point not to support places that advertise themselves with such gross abuse to the Engligh Language: Krazy Kuts, Xtreme Sportz....forget about it!

2. I adore good bluegrass and country music. I think Dolly Parton (among other greats) is pretty much the bee's knees. Good toe-tapping tunes and old country ballads that take you to another place and time.... pure goodness. Gimme a banjo, guitar, fiddle, and a singer that sings from the bottom of her soul. Mmm mmm mmm. That's all I have to say about that.

3. I saw a woman die once. I was winding down a hilly road on a bus in South Africa in the Draakensburg Mountains. We were winding down the mountain. The roads were very narrow and dangerous. As we turned the corner, we saw a matatu struggling up the mountain (that's what we always called the buses in Kenya...you can't imagine how many people and things can be crammed inside...like a clown car...furniture, people, chickens, spare gasoline, water). There was an African woman; she was balancing a basket of bright oranges on her head. The bus hit her. It was an accident. I don't remember how it all happened...the terrible sequence of events. I just remember little snapshots of the scene. It was very still and quiet for a minute. Our bus stopped. The people walking up and down the mountain stopped. The woman's basket of oranges spilled slowly down the mountain. They gradually picked up speed and scattered in all directions. There was wailing. A high-pitched piercing cry. It prickled my eyes. The matatu driver had his hands on his hips and looked at the steaming engine. The scenery was breathtaking. Children were carrying water up the mountain in bare feet. Our bus kept moving. I sucked in the crisp air and disappeared inside of my thoughts. I think that a little piece of my soul died that day. Why? The indifference with which everyone went about their business after the initial moment of shock.... How beautiful the scenery was there.... How hard life is short. Color became very vivid and important to me. I made a vow that day that I'd savor the life I've been given. Every succulent drop.

4. I've been told that I'm a good listener.

5. My green eyes are my most favorite feature. I get quite a few comments on them. Those and my big butt.

6. Storytelling is most important to me. It seems that I've always had a love for stories...I think my friend Twyla Wright might have something to do with this (I'm sure I'll have an entry in my list about Twinkle Toes). I go to a storytelling festival every year. i freak out over good storytelling like my sister-in-law Carey freaks out over good chocolate. Nestled in the hills of Jonesborough, TN, the International Storytelling Festival hosts a 3-day storytelling event that showcases world-renowned storytellers from many walks of life. Huge white circus tents perch on the lawns of this quaint little town and house the most intimate, magical few hours you can experience with 500 strangers east of the Mississippi. In the festival promoters' own word: "Come hear tales unfold beneath big festival tents and nighttime stars." Charming, isn't it? Read more at http://www.storytellingcenter.com/festival/history-fest.htm

7. I think the Society for Creative Anachronism is weird (haven't decided if it's weird good or weird bad). As are its members. I've worked with a few. Once I was facilitating a workshop and asked, sort of jokingly, one such individual to lead an energizer right after lunch. He took his charge quite seriously and led us all in a quick tutorial in broadsword fighting. He didn't have his proper materials at hand, so he just swiped one of the boards from the white picket fence in the front yard of the church where we were meeting. Because we were apprentices, we wielded little branches that we scrounged up from the yard. Ten minutes into it, I had had enough. I would much rather be a wench in the kitchens, fayre ones.
http://www.sca.org/

8. I like to read. My mom told me once that reading came easily to Jennie when we were young. For me it was more of a struggle. But once I conquered it...my world was opened to limitless possibilities. Imagine picking up a book and being in Narnia or outerspace or in a suburb in smalltown, USA or the wild, wild west. How perfectly lovely.

9. I love cooking. Things from scratch. I spend hours upon hours cooking. And reading cookbooks. For fun.

10. My mom. Known to many as Practical Pat (after hours). Or Medical Pat (when she's on the clock). Where to begin? Once, when I was in elementary school, I came downstairs feeling rather puny. And determined that I shouldn't go to school. Greeted by a cold bowl of oatmeal and a brisk efficiency acquired after having raised five children, Practical Pat encouraged me to move much more expediently than I was in order to catch the bus in time. "I can't eat the oatmeal. I'm sick. I can't go to school today." Practical Pat, not interested in my histrionics, says, "Eat it." And then something along the lines of "you're not really sick; and don't even think about not going to school today." Undoubtedly, I ate it. And almost simultaneously puked it all up in the kitchen sink. "Well, now that that's out of your system, you ought to feel much better. Now hurry up. You're going to miss the bus." I drug myself down to the bus stop (feeling rather nauseated) at the end of the driveway (which I should mention is about a quarter of a mile from the house). A couple of hours later, the school nurse called her at home and arranged for her to collect me from school. I was very sick, after all.

07 July 2005

Hershey, PA

i was in manheim, PA a couple of weeks ago. facilitating a meeting for a bunch of new and immigrant farmers. a nation-wide initiative. all in all a good week.

much to my delight, the sign next to my hotel signaled that hershey, PA was a mere 14 miles west of town. it had been an intense week, so i decided that on friday, after my work obligations were over, i would swing by the chocolate factory before heading home.

i'm not sure what i expected as i neared Chocolate World (truly the name of the 'how chocolate is made' attraction). i half expected to see little oompa loompas running around.

not the case.

hershey built a giant amusement part...six flags caliber. however, my destination was the smallish type of building just behind all of the exciting rides and vast expanses of parking lots. but i tell you, watching the vacation-weary parents step out of their minivans with their broods was no less exciting than the Chocolate Spiral just down the road.

so, i made my way into the gates of Chocolate World. followed the signs to the beginning of the Chocolate Tour. i told the attendant at the gate of the motorized tour that i was alone. he was taken aback slightly, as Chocolate World is a family friendly joint and NO ONE would savor the joys of chocolate alone. pobresita. i must have been a sad looking sod the way he mooned over me with his piteous eyes. he found a lone bus driver from a tour group in south carolina to double up with me.....

and we were off! through the world of chocolate! a motorized belt whisked me and about 50 other strangers through the story of chocolate manufacturing!...lush rainforests (robotic toucans watching us curiously as we rode through)!...cocoa beans harvested by hand in costa rica and ghana (illuminated maps blinking the locations in case we had forgotten from our geography classes)!....to the shipping docks (now sea gulls were watching)!....beans inspected, collected, and washed (i'd wash my beans, too, if they had been surrounded by so many birds and boats)!...chopped, sliced, diced, roasted to perfection (as our carts were pulled through a tunnel, we were 'roasted' by little heat wires on the ceiling--my personal favorite)!......powdered and mixed with fresh milk from PA dairies (the motorized cows mooed hello as we rode past)!...cooked!...molded!...wrapped!...counted!...shipped!.....and enjoyed by millions all over the world (at this point we passed thorugh a hall of chocolate with happy singing children from all over the world!.....strangely reminiscent of the 'it's a small world' exhibits found at most disney locations-- only difference was that this exhibit piped in the smell of chocolate....not bad. not bad, indeed.).

oh, glorious chocolate! how can i name the ways of your wonder!?

we were ushered out in an expedient manner. on our way out of the door, we were all handed a fresh piece of candy from a hershey's employee. this particular one was a down's kid. not strange in and of itself....it was just the intensity with which he counted and allotted the candies that blew my mind.

all in all a very informative time. as one would expect from an educational exhibit.

it was all so artificial and strange. have we come to a point in our lives that we no longer no where food comes from? beyond that, are we so far removed (as americans, maybe, or just as humans) from learning and knowing that we have to have action figures (life sized hershey's kisses), music, moving parts, and a light show to hold our attention long enough to teach us a tiny crumb of knowledge (or trivia, whatever the case may be)?

as i pondered our nation's food (in)security and learning styles, i popped in my newly acquired piece of chocolate, smoothed some chocolate flavored lip balm on my lips, adjusted the mirrors of my rental car, turned on the radio, and hit the road.

6.5 hours later, i was home.

06 July 2005

i'm back!

i lost my password for the past month or so...but i'm back!
hope to post a blog very soon...so much has happened to me since i last wrote.....
Hepatitis exposure, ensuing 12 hour visit to the El Paso ER, installed a toilet, a 10-hour layover in the miami airport and a weird encounter with a fellow passenger over the fourth....and many, many more.